Downer finds his rock of Gibraltar

Move over Tony Abbott. Another former federal Liberal politician has lined up a trade advisory job with a foreign government.

Step forward Alexander Downer. The former foreign minister, and former high commissioner to Britain, replaced by George Brandis in 2018, is to assist the government of Gibraltar in its free trade negotiations with Australia. The British Overseas Territory has engaged Downer for a three-year gig and thus the former foreign minister has placed himself on the federal government’s transparency register, as a consultant.

It has been something of a whirlwind COVID year for Downer; in March we found him in isolation in Carrickalinga – a beachside town (pop. 281) on South Australia's Fleurieu Peninsula, SA’s answer to Portsea.

At the time we reported he was stuck in SA for the foreseeable future, but in August came news that Downer had shown his adrenalin junkie side when he was knocked unconscious after a nasty accident on a rented e-scooter in Frankfurt. He was visiting the German city with wife Nicky to catch up with friends.

The 68-year-old former diplomat, despite suffering memory loss, rejected the advice of doctors for a three-night hospital stay and discharged himself to recuperate at his hotel.

Other notches on Downer’s belt include chair of Britain’s Policy Exchange think tank, executive chair of the King's College International school for government and chair of London's Royal Over-Seas League club.

Downer will add the Gibraltar job to his position as principal at Tenjin Consulting, the London- and Melbourne-based firm he runs with daughter Georgina Downer. Geopolitics addicts can get a weekly fix of the pair shooting the breeze on international relations via their weekly Geopod podcast. It’s an acquired taste.

AusPost's video nasty

After a few tough weeks (think Pauline Hanson, stubby holders), Australia Post now has another unexpected stakeholder to deal with: YouTube.

AusPost has been stung by a scathing parody video that takes the famous scene in the film Downfall where Adolf Hitler goes into meltdown and retitles it “Christine Holgate in the Australia Post bunker”. And now its corporate affairs team is trying to get it taken down.

Captions in the video target chief executive Holgate’s desperation to cut letter deliveries and attempts to introduce the controversial Alternative Delivery Model.

The parody, posted by “Gav Postie” to YouTube five days ago, contains lines such as, “I am Christine Holgate, if I can make a career out of flogging fish oils to China, I can do anything,” and, “My contract is up for renewal and now the government thinks I am a liability.”

The organisation denies it has launched an investigation into who created the video.

“This video is incredibly inappropriate. We are working with YouTube to have it removed,” a spokeswoman said. “We have received many messages of support saying how offensive this is.”

Certainly, the video betrays a close knowledge of the organisation, name-checking Rod Barnes, executive general manager deliveries, and Christian Jackson, general manager of the NSW, ACT and Queensland division.

But the reference to the less-prominent executive Col Hindle, national head of network implementation, has got insiders talking. As has the sequence where a spluttering Hitler screams, “Why does Dan still have a job? I gave clear orders to cut one in four postie jobs.” That’s a reference to a chart circulated through the organisation showing how “Dan” is “no longer assigned to a round” under the Alternative Delivery Model, which has been causing Australia Post such headaches.

Another scene has two women crying and the caption, “Don’t worry Sue, they can’t sack you if you do all the sacking,” a clear reference to Susan Davies, EGM people and culture.

The video was posted as the organisation advertises for not just an adviser, board and shareholder liaison, but a senior adviser, board and shareholder liaison.

Elia's lockdown escape

Last week we learned Hostplus chief executive David Elia had ditched his home town of Melbourne when he fronted Federal Parliament’s economics committee from quarantine, on the Gold Coast. What we didn’t know is that his wife and adult children had joined him.

Elia, who is the super sector’s highest-paid chief executive and trousered some $1.19 million in the last financial year, is currently serving out his quarantine period inside the AFL’s Gold Coast bubble compound, along with the family. In doing so, Elia joins an illustrious club, which includes Peter Fox and wife Lisa who fled Melbourne for the sunnier – and COVID-free – climes of the Sunshine State with their three kids in July.

They were followed by fellow millionaire Mark Simonds and his family including Fox’s daughter Hannah on their yacht, the Lady Pamela.

It’s not the best look to leg it from the state when the hospitality workers that Hostplus represents are doing it tough in Melbourne. But his is a job that has to be done on the ground, apparently.

“Not only is Hostplus a major stakeholder of the AFL, but the fund has three offices and more than 200,000 members in the state – representing $8 billion of Hostplus' current funds under management,” a spokesman said, confirming Elia’s move north.

“Mr Elia is speaking at various industry events and once the quarantine period has ended, he will be taking the opportunity to meet with local investment managers.”

Elia is a Richmond tragic, but that is no bar to Hostplus being a major sponsor of the Gold Coast Suns. It’s worth noting that Hostplus is the AFL's nominated super fund for employees, after it dumped AMP last year.

But we know that Elia is a fan of corporate entertainment. At the banking royal commission, Elia defended Hostplus spending $260,000 on tickets for the Australian Tennis Open, and $40,000 on AFL Medallion Club tickets, distributed among employer representatives and staff. Elia said it was the price of doing business.