Brian Fanale: “Remember Who You Are”

If I could inspire a movement, it would be one where people didn’t need anything outside of them to feel whole, or feel love. That’s true happiness and self-love. And if we could inspire and influence that in ourselves, and then in others, there would be no war, jealousy, ego, or hate. And from this […]

If I could inspire a movement, it would be one where people didn’t need anything outside of them to feel whole, or feel love. That’s true happiness and self-love. And if we could inspire and influence that in ourselves, and then in others, there would be no war, jealousy, ego, or hate. And from this place it could really help free up people to pursue their passions, and do what they were put on this planet to do. Talk about a movement!

As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Brian Fanale.

Brian is the CEO of MyLeadSystemPro (MLSP), an Austin-based company since 2008, who specializes in helping business owners grow their income & impact by leveraging the power of the internet.

MLSP is a training platform, tools, software, and global community for entrepreneurs that teaches online strategies to get more clients, customers, sales, and results in any industry.

MLSP clients include staying at home mom & dads, realtors, home business owners, doctors, attorneys, tax professionals, authors, speakers, coaches, and everything in between.

MLSP students have generated 3,934,851 leads through MLSP alone, and have earned 21,175,723.99 dollars in MLSP affiliate commissions as they learn online marketing and grow their businesses.

Fanale’s main goal with MLSP is to help people find their voice by becoming the greatest versions of themselves, growing their businesses, and creating their lives by design. Fanale is a personal growth junkie and meditation wizard and loves helping people break free in all areas of their lives. https://blog.myleadsystempro.com

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

Back in the early 2000’s, I was in college studying to go to medical school when my twin brother and I started a band. We loved playing music, and after graduating I realized I could never pursue our music dream in the way we wanted to while going to medical school. So I chose to keep playing music after graduation instead of med school, which left me flat broke. So I turned to the internet to see if I could make some money on the side to be able to buy my band members a round of beers after a show. This year our company, ‘MyLeadSystemPRO’ surpassed 50 million dollars in online sales.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

We are always working on new projects to help people become the greatest versions of themselves. This year has been a wild ride with COVID and essentially the whole world shutting down. Our business has had to cancel half a dozen or so live in-person workshops so far, which essentially forced us to pivot to livestream virtual workshops. And I’m happy to report they’ve been a massive success. We’ve been able to reach global clients we’ve never been able to reach before and take them through intense mindset work, meditations, breaking through limiting beliefs, and helping them fall in love with their business, their lives, and themselves again all from the comfort of their homes.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?

I believe a big part of my personal struggle was because of the story I was telling myself both consciously, and unconsciously. I was running a program of ‘I’m Not Enough’ for about a decade until I finally became conscious of it. To keep a long story short my mentor at the time brought to my attention that I buy the regular bananas vs. organic bananas in the grocery store. It’s just a few cents more to buy the organic bananas. But I was so broke at the time and focusing on how broke I was, I didn’t believe I was worth those few extra cents for the cleaner, healthier bananas. When my mentor asked me why I choose the non-organic bananas, my replay was ‘because those weren’t made for me.’ That moment it was like a ton of bricks hit me in the face when I spoke that out loud, and it became very clear why I was struggling to make money in my business. It’s pretty hard to create wealth from a place of ‘I’m not enough,’ I don’t have value, those weren’t made for me. That conversation was the tipping point breakthrough that woke me up to the reality that I had some deep self-acceptance and self-love work ahead of me.

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

In response to why the majority of men and women aren’t satisfied with their appearance, I believe the #1 reason for that is the media and insane programming we get at a young age on what ‘beauty’ is. An emaciated female on the cover of some glamour magazine will make most women think they have to be that to be beautiful because that’s what society is telling them. A jacked-up dude with a six-pack in the infomercials will make most men think they have to be that to be attractive. Heck, if you felt whole and beautiful, in love with life and with yourself, what would the marketing companies have to sell you? You would be and feel whole! They realize this, they take advantage of this, and comparing ourselves to these made-up societal ‘beauty’ images is a death trap.

As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?

It’s important to love yourself because everywhere you go, there you are! The number one thing you have to take care of is YOU! I know that may sound selfish, but the reality is that it’s exactly the opposite. You can’t do or be much for anybody, your kids, your spouse, your clients if you don’t have a healthy self-respect and self-love for YOU. I like that on airplanes they tell you to put your mask on first even though that’s counterintuitive because you want to take care of your kids first! You won’t be any good to your kids, or anybody for that matter if you don’t take care of you first. And the more you take care of you, the more you can give back and pour into others. If that’s the leverage you need to start loving you, take it! I believe to realize your full potential on this planet you have to raise your vibration and love thyself first.

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

People stay in mediocre relationships for one reason: FEAR. Fear of being alone, fear of losing love, fear that this could be the best partner I could find so I’ll settle. My advice would be that FEAR is where some of your greatest growth is going to come. If your partner doesn’t bring energy towards you and light you up, and inspire you… I would recommend you have a very serious conversation with your partner and decide to either level-up your relationship together, or find a new one. Life’s too short to not have a passionate, loving relationship, and it’s possible! I believe there is a particular soul out there for everybody. That doesn’t mean when you find him or her it won’t take work. But I believe they’re out there. Let go of this FEAR of being alone by loving YOU and not needing anybody outside of you to make you feel love. If you start being love, and bringing love to your world and your relationships, and not going into a relationship looking to get love, and instead of going into a relationship looking to give love, your world will transform.

When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

The best questions that will free you are when you ask yourself questions like ‘what does this really mean?’ Or questions like how long am I going to let this affect me?’ It’s all perspective. One person can go through the most traumatic event, and their life can be ruined as they play the victim card for the rest of their existence (and nobody would blame them). Another person can go through the same traumatic event, and their life can turn into one of massive impacts on a global scale because they used that event to fuel themselves, inspire others, and make the world a better place. Same event, different outcome solely because of the story, meaning, focus, and perspective of the individual. The banana story I shared a bit earlier is the one that brought an unconscious, toxic and crushing limiting belief to the forefront. I remember thinking what would my life amount to 20+ years from today if I kept telling myself I wasn’t enough. And everything I’d miss out on. There was enough pain there for my brain to make the switch. Future pacing is a very powerful way to get leverage on yourself to transform destructive, paralyzing, love-sucking beliefs into loving, empowering, inspiring new beliefs.

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

Alone time is vitally important to the soul. The reason people want to be distracted, entertained, or with somebody else is so they don’t have to face what’s going on inside. Retreating to a quiet space where you’re alone to get centered, grounded, and to become aware of your conscious thoughts is the first step to making improvements in your relationship with you. The relationship with you is the most important relationship in your life. Giving yourself the gift of an hour of solitude, meditation, reflection, or prayer in a world full of constant interruptions and information overload is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. This is a gift you would give yourself if you loved you, and if you remembered that you are pure love, so why not start today?

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

Achieving a certain level of self-love will allow you to connect with everybody around you at a much greater level. You will be able to bring compassion and understanding without judgment to your relationships. And it’s something palpable that the people around you will feel. In fact, only when you can connect deeply with YOU will you be able to truly connect deeply with another human being. So if that’s important to you, it’s time to start taking care of you and loving you!

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

One of the best things you can do to better understand yourself is to ideally take a day or two and retreat. If you can’t break away for that amount of time, give yourself at least a few hours and grab a journal (a tablet or laptop is fine, just make sure you’re in ‘do not disturb’ mode and detached from e-mail and social media). Take this time to ask yourself some big questions like ‘Who do I want to be in this world?’ ‘Who am I committed to being for my family, my kids, my spouse?’ ‘Why do I want this?’ When you understand what you’re doing, what you want, and why, you can start to play this game of life from a different level of mind and create new empowering rules for yourself in a way that creates instant self-love.

What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

Five strategies that allow me to maintain my connection with and love for myself are 1) Committing to LOVE no matter what — LOVE is who I’m going to show up as every single day no matter what. This is a conscious decision every single day. 2) When I wake up in the morning the very first word out of my mouth when my foot hits the ground is ‘Gratitude,’ and from that place, I start to flood my body and brain with self-love, gratitude, and appreciation for another day. 3) Honor your word. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. This will train your brain that YOU are the master, and to serve you and boost your self-respect, which of course produces more self-love. 4) Get in THEIR world. In your communication throughout the day with your business partners, clients, kids, and spouses, really try to put yourself in their shoes and appreciate their world without the judgment. The more you can authentically be present with another human being, the more it will help build a deeper relationship with them, and with yourself. 5) Give thanks as you fall asleep, and remind yourself that you are pure love. That somebody somewhere is keeping your heart beating, and they love you enough to have given you this gift of life. And that tomorrow will be another opportunity to bring the possibility of love to the world. Acknowledge that you are doing your best and that tomorrow is another day. And speak out loud to yourself as you fall asleep, ‘I love you.’

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

One of my favorite podcasts around intimacy and relationships is the ‘Date Your Wife’ podcast with Garrett White. It resonates with me because this dude and his wife get on a podcast and talk everything: sex, business, entrepreneurship, mindset, parenting, everything. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I got from this podcast is you MUST honor your partner with at least one date a week. This has really allowed me to make sure my girl feels she is the priority and has allowed us to connect at a deep level because she feels honored, loved, seen, and heard. Which of course brings more love back my way too!

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

If I could inspire a movement, it would be one where people didn’t need anything outside of them to feel whole, or feel love. That’s true happiness and self-love. And if we could inspire and influence that in ourselves, and then in others, there would be no war, jealousy, ego, or hate. And from this place it could really help free up people to pursue their passions, and do what they were put on this planet to do. Talk about a movement!

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

My favorite ‘Life Lesson Quote’ is a quote my Dad always used to say, and still does to this day: “Remember Who You Are.” This is so profound because the next thought after this is, “Well who am I?” And from that place, you get to create who you want to be. You get to choose it. Life is a blank canvas and you’re holding the paintbrush. The past is now wisdom, and the future is an illusion. Speak and it is given. Ask and ye shall receive. Who do you want to be in the now, and where are you going? Who are you, really? Before all your life circumstances, experiences, traumatic events, and before life happened to you… you were pure potential and pure love. That’s who you really are. I think it’s good to remember that, always.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

— Published on September 14, 2020