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Chris Evans — From His Penis To A Woman’s Peachy Derriere, The Captain Loves It All

Cute-butt Captain America Chris Evans’ obsession with genitalia leaves the web in splits. But ‘past antics’ prove it was nothing more than a Freudian Slip by Mr Evans.

I was eighteen when I developed this odd fondness for a cinematic franchise totally different from the genres I usually fancied. So much so, that I am one of the members of the fandom now. You guessed it right. Hours of watching Marvel productions on a loop made me fall hard for the cute-butt-captain and no, it doesn’t end there. I never knew I would go on to becoming a girl absolutely smitten by his off-camera persona too. Well, that’s what Chris Evans’ charisma as Captain America does to you. 

There’s more than what meets the eye

However, there’s more to the green-eyed hunk and it is not family-friendly, to say the least. I’ve warned you. Do not blame me. But before I go there, you better get updated on the latest buzz. 

For the ones unaware, Chris Evans has taken the web by storm in the last few hours.

While he intended to post an Instagram video playing “Heads up” with his friends, the 39-year-old American actor accidentally put up a video that ended going back to his gallery and showed to the world ‘the head’ that no one saw coming.

The gallery even had one of Chris Evans‘ photographs as a meme that read:

“Guard your p*ssy”. Of course, he took the video down but not before the entire world saw what’s underneath the suit of Captain America. 

Co-stars and fans join in on the action

And to think that his Avenger’s co-stars wouldn’t get in on the action, Hulk aka Mark Ruffalo tweeted, “

Even though most of the fans couldn’t have been any more ecstatic, some were concerned about his privacy and went on to expressing that it should be respected and that Evans was more than just a splendid body. Charitable-philanthropist-absolute dog lover-yada yada yada.

However, what perturbs me the most is the stringent pattern revealing Chris’ phallus-obsessed demeanor. It is not the first time that the world has seen his more-than-regular indulgence in all things penis and most definitely not the last.

Sure, I might receive enough flak to drown in embarrassment for calling out Chris Evans’ obsession with genitalia, but I may as well.

Let’s go down the alley of the past, shall we?

It is not to say that he isn’t obsessed with his penis. America’s Ass also has a thing for, what he so smoothly pointed out as, a “peachy derriere” during a podcast session with Anna Faris in 2016. 

He then went back to the package talk. The actor expressed:

Nobody sends a bad dick pic. There’s always a full photo shoot, like a four-hour photo shoot with filters.

When Chris Evans investigates Paul Rudd’s penis size

Cut to 2020, Chris Evans’ obsession with genitalia seems to have grown. During Variety’s Actors on Actors @ Home series, Chris Evans and Paul Rudd had what was perceived as a hilarious conversation around work and other things, during which Chris asked Paul about his Penis size right out of the blue. 

Variety tweeted the conversation and had the world in splits. 

Heads up or not?

However, it doesn’t feel surprising now when you think of his demonstrated history in phallus-obsession which has finally amassed in a Freudian slip by Mr Evans when using his smartphone’s keypad that resulted in the accidental penis-flash on Instagram.

His face and reputation as one of the most loved Avengers pretty much does the trick and has helped him by with the borderline inappropriate jokes in the past. But this one is embarrassing out of proportions. We all hope that Mark Ruffalo is true, for Captain America’s sake.

Watch: Chris Evans and Paul Rudd – The Penis Conversation and More || Variety