Mum whose daughter, 4, is still in nappies won't force son, 2, to toilet train

A mum whose four-year-old daughter is still in nappies has defended her decision to not yet toilet train her two youngest children.

Blogger and social worker Laura Mazza, 33, hit back at those who have criticised her parenting methods, saying her daughter Sofia and son James, two, will use a potty or toilet when they are ready.

In a new post on Facebook, the mum-of-three, from Melbourne Australia, said Sofia and James will be ready "in their own time", and her eldest son didn't begin using a toilet until he was almost four.

Her post, which describes the pressure she feels during regular development checks, comes just months after she was met with a "disapproving look of judgement" from fellow parents for not potty training her little girl Sofia.

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Laura said a nurse recently checked in to make sure James was reaching his development milestones.

During the hour-long phone call, a nurse asked if she had started toilet training him.

To her 244,000 followers, she wrote: "I spent an hour telling her that he is literally a genius child... he’s just adjusted to life being the third child and he was quicker than his siblings with talking and walking.

"I told her how he strings sentences together, practices empathy, plays well, eats by himself, all these wonderful things."

Laura said she had been avoiding the check-ups due to the pressure she feels they place on her.

She added: "Every time I’ve had one I’ve always somehow felt bad or inferior, but I thought, what can go wrong?

"And there it was, even after smashing milestones, there was even more that I had to do, MORE that I should be doing.

"She asked me if my just turned 2 year old was toilet training. Well, no. He’s not ready.

Laura said the nurse told her she should encourage James to use the toilet, read books to him and sit him on the toilet.

She wrote: "Basically all the ways I should force him.

"There is this obsession with forcing children to grow up, to walk to talk and to go to the toilet by a certain age. Why?

"I said, no I’m busy teaching my 4 year old to feel comfortable around the toilet because she was once forced by a 'professional' and she is on the spectrum.

"He is not ready and when he is that’s when I’ll support him to do it."

This type of check-up is the reason mums, especially new mums, "feel inferior", Laura said.

She told how her eldest son Luca, now six, was "ready" for toilet training when he was almost four.

She added: "They did the same thing to my son who would wet himself constantly until I said, nope, that’s enough.

"One year later and it took him one day and he got it, why? Because HE was ready. And he was almost 4."

She offered advice to other mums, telling them there is no reason for feel guilty or ashamed for a 'late' milestone.

Laura wrote: "Unless there is something worrying you about your child’s development, chill out and tell all the Bettys, or Sharons of your mothers group who are telling you what you should be doing to go shove it.

"Kids get it in their own time, when they are ready, and you are ready. Do not feel guilty for milestone c***.

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"Let kids be kids. You’re doing an amazing job!"

In a post in May, Laura said her daughter Sofia was still in nappies because she wasn't ready for toilet training.

According to the NHS, most parents start thinking about potty training when their child is aged two to two-and-a-half.

It adds: "But there's no perfect time.

"Remember, you cannot force your child to use a potty.

"If they're not ready, you will not be able to make them use it.

"In time, they will want to use one – most children will not want to go to school in nappies any more than you would want them to.

"In the meantime, the best thing you can do is to encourage the behaviour you want."