Beat your Lockdown Blues: All your mental health queries answered by Dr Anjali Chhabria

Hello. I live in a joint family of 16 members. I am 22 years old now and last week my cousin mentioned that she was molested by one of the relatives who had visited us few years ago. This relative is going to visit us next week for a few days. My cousin has been feeling anxious as the relative is visiting us after eight years. How do I go about helping her?

Ans: Your cousin could be feeling anxious as a result of this relative’s arrival. It must be a trigger to the past trauma experienced due to the molestation. You can extend your help by arranging her to speak to a therapist who can work on her post trauma anxiety. Also speaking to certain family members who you think will be able to understand this situation could be helpful. Your family support is important for your cousin to speak up about this unfortunate event when the time comes to report the case officially. A lot of help is available to report this case of molestation and seek justice. But before anything legal, she would require therapeutic support to deal with her emotions.

I met a guy on a dating app last month. We hit off right from the start and have been talking regularly. A few days ago, I found out he spoke about me to one of his friends and that friend has sent a request on Instagram. His friend has also sent a text which says that he would like to date me. This is happening when he knows we are already serious about making our relationship official. I am very confused with this behavior. Should I tell the guy about his friend’s actions?

Ans: This seems to be quite a predicament with respect to the communication taking place between you and the two guys. It is important to know whether you like the guy you met on the app and how you wish to take things further. Also, since you said that you guys hit off well, having an open communication is essential. In the meantime also understand from this other guy what his intentions are towards you. The end to this confusion is clear communication between you and the guys. Since you guys have met on a dating app, find out more about this person before you decide to go ahead in pursuing this relationship.

I am a senior manager at a consulting firm for the last 15 years. But, for the last one year, I have been experiencing burnout. I can’t seem to quit the job despite feeling horrible about it. My family is dependent on my income and finding something else in this pandemic is tough. I don’t know if I should start something of my own on the side after doing a job for so many years. What should I do to feel better?

Ans: Finding a job in this situation could be difficult as hiring and firing policy is quite different now. Since this is the only income your family is dependent on finding a midway to this situation is important. You can bring some mental peace by looking for other jobs and also delegating your responsibilities keeping in mind your post and experience. This will reduce work stress and also give a ray of hope towards you finding something better. Alternatively, you could also look for a side business which can be your secondary source of income with someone trustworthy so that you aren’t stuck in a similar situation again.

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